Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A lover in trouble

Our Umtata contemporary says:- A desoicable affair is reported from a neighbouring district.
A certain young man's lightsome thoughts of love were centred on a lady in his district, but he was not alone in his affection.
There was a rival for the lady's heart and hand.
Lover No 1 was, like most peole, spending the Christmas holidays by the sea, and one day he received a note, supposedly from the lady, making an appontment.
Naturally he was on the spot right to the moment, but instead of being greeted by his lady love, three masked men pounced on him, blindfolded him, undressed their victim, tarred him, rolled him in feathers, then jumped on their horses and rode off.
The victim went to a kraal nearby for assistance, but the natives thought he was a spook and simply flew for dear life.
Then he went into the sea, and tried to wash off his garb, but the salt water simply made the tar harden, and his plight was greater than ever.
Eventually he secured the assistance of some European friends and a liberal application of paraffin and turpentine had the desired effect.
All's fair in love and war they say, but surely it isn't necessary to stoop to conquer to the extent of using the tar bucket and a pillow.

Eastern Province Herald - January 28, 1909

Poor guy. Even with a liberal application of turps and paraffin, they must have struggled for ages to get the tar off. I hope they nailed the culprits who did it. Still, it must have been very funny to watch the occupants of the kraal depart when the ghost came to visit.

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